A (Not Quite) Brief History of John Mayer

(...and my plea for his return.)



I've been on a John Mayer kick lately. I'm not sure where it came from, especially as I've actually been a bit mad at him. Why was I mad at him, you ask? Easy. The Grammy Awards. He sang Dolly Parton's 'Jolene,' which happens to be one of my all-time favorite songs.* I was pretty stoked when it started. Then I watched him, less than gracefully, make his way through the verse while clearly reading the lyrics off the teleprompter. I know country music isn't really JM's thang. But, it was a freaking Dolly Parton tribute! If that was the best he could do, he oughtn't to have done it at all. I've digressed, though. Sort of.

So, when I say I've been listening to a lot of John Mayer, you should know that I don't just mean "Continuum." I know there are a couple million people** who think that "Continuum" was his last/only great album. I am not one of those people. When I listen to John Mayer I start with "Comfortable" (From the 'Inside Wants Out' EP, not the live album) and end somewhere around 'Assassin' or 'Crossroads.'

Actually, that's not entirely true. I usually end with '3x5.' But that doesn't really count because after a good JM session, I've probably already listened to that song roughly a dozen times. I'm a little obsessive with it. The lyrics are so poetic and full of imagery. I can't think of another song he's written that paints as vivid a picture. Of course, that's the idea behind the song: To paint a picture with words. As a writer, I can understand the sentiment and often remind myself to do that instead of always reaching for my camera. As a girl who is forever on yet another road trip, it tugs hundreds of pictures of sunsets from my memories. If I'm on the road, it makes me smile at knowing I'll be driving right under the 'cowboy cliche.' If I'm at home, it lures me into calculating cost of gas to some new place. '3x5' is one of my many, many theme songs.

But John Mayer's genius didn't stop or really even start at 'Room for Squares.' Actually, the most genius thing about that album is its pop quality. I don't imagine that when JM is listening to music in his massive mansion that it sounds anything like the music on 'Room for Squares.' He'll freely admit that the sound of that album isn't a sound he particularly loves. But he (and his record label) knew what it took to sell an album. It takes "bubblegum tongue" and chess with salt and pepper shakers.***

'Any Given Thursday' came next and is still one of my favorite JM albums in existence. In those days, I couldn't afford to go see 10 of the same concerts in one year. 'Any Given Thursday' sounded exactly like the one and only John Mayer show I could afford to go to (just a few miles down the street from my very first apartment). That album made me feel like I was able to go to a hundred of his shows. As far as live albums go, it's pretty freaking spectacular.

He followed that with his second studio album, 'Heavier Things,' which was really more of the same. But, you know, a little heavier. (True Genius) "Daughters" was, I think, the first single off 'Heavier Things.' I can still remember the first time I heard it: In my beat up ol' Neon, driving around Tallahassee during my freshman year of college. It made me swoon. It made me think, "He gets it."**** When the album came out, I immediately fell in love with "Split-screen Sadness." I still love it. I still have my made-up music video in my head and I still think it could make an amazing duet. The album went a little softer than an outright pop album. But with tracks like 'Bigger Than My Body' and 'Wheel,' it was easy for John Mayer to stay in everyone's good graces.

I think somewhere after that is where John Mayer began to pale in the eyes of wonderlandish girls everywhere. However, I also think it’s where his “genius” began to come alive. In 2005, he came up with The John Mayer Trio. If it was 100% for himself, it was also 100% not for his audience. The kid sold millions of records to, mostly, millions of college-going girls (and the guys who wanted to get in their pants). If there's one thing most 18-22 year old girls know nothing about (besides how to hold their liquor), it's blues. Six years later, I'm just now starting to love The John Mayer Trio's only album, "Try!" It's an amazing album, don't get me wrong. But the last thing you want to do to your audience of Ugg-wearing, bottle blondes is alienate them. 'Try!' was ten times smarter than 21-year-old-Me and a few feet deeper. I'd always known JM was supposed to be some sort of guitar savant, but I suddenly felt like I must be some sort of idiot for not understanding this new twist. He was above me...too far above me. I think that turned a lot of people off of him.

'Continuum' came out in 2006 and peaked at #2 on the charts ('Room for Squares' peaked at 8, but 'Heavier Things' went to number 1) and went platinum twice. The first single had a lot to do with that, though. "Waiting on the World to Change" came at a time when the world needed it the most. We were still in Iraq and Afghanistan, we were finally realizing the mistake we made by reelecting George W. Bush, and, hey, it was released just a few months shy of the five year anniversary of the September 11th tragedy. The single said everything that many young Americans didn’t know how to say. The album, to a certain extent, was what a lot of his former college student crowd was going through. "Stop This Train" reminded us that last year our dad had a heart attack or that our mums were going grey. We were getting real jobs and supposed to act as grown-ups. Stressful. Once more, John Mayer "got" what was going on in my life and the life of my friends, his fans. "Vultures" broke my heart for John. Literally, his falsetto in the chorus makes my heart shudder. It's beautiful and the slow, funky beat leaves me entirely breathless. I don't want him to be drug down and raked through the muck of the tabloids. I freaking love 'Continuum’ and I happen to think it was the most meaningful of all his albums. It’s also the albums where he lost most of his acoustic beginnings-‘Continuum’ is much more electric. I think it’s his finest work. But with a more bluesy sound than any of his previous solo albums, I think it just didn't sit as well with a lot of people as his last albums.

Somewhere along the way between that 2006 album and his latest album (released in 2009), John Mayer let the vultures get him down. He lost his tan, grew his hair, got a few million tattoos and started venturing out into public. Part of me says, "Good on him!" Instead of hiding, he set about trying to live as normally as possible. Except, you can only be so normal when you own multiple watches worth tens of thousands of dollars and have a pack of photogs who follow you around just trying to get a picture of you and whatever girl you're currently with. So, he opened his mouth. He may have a 'real purdy' mouth when he sings, but not when you piss him off. And, for awhile there, it seemed as if he was always pissed off. That's the thing about fans, though. We'll give them a life that's impossible not to get caught up in and we'll give them loads of money to buy all the weird shit they get off on. But when we tear into the gossip rags, we want to see them get out of their Ferrari, smile graciously, and act like they don't have a wad of hund-os in their front pocket. We expect that to be easy for them...and it's not. John Mayer clearly illustrated that point. For the record, his mouthiness only makes me swoon. But it rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. If his experimentation with blues didn’t do it, his new attitude did: He was no longer a pop music darling.

Then he gave us ‘Battle Studies.’ The album may have debuted at number one, but it only went platinum once, which makes it his least selling album to date. It stayed on the charts for 54 weeks. His only studio album that remained charted for a shorter length of time was Continuum, at 33 weeks. The album went platinum after two weeks, which tells me that most of its original sales were from people who were already fans. "Battle Studies" certainly didn't gain him any new friends. As a matter of fact, my (mostly) reliable sources at Wikipedia only have 'Battle Studies' at selling 1.3(ish) million copies. That's less than half of the amount of followers John Mayer had on Twitter before he deleted his account in late 2010. It seems that more people cared about hearing what JM had to say than what he wanted to sing. That’s a shame, because I don’t think John ever wanted it to be that way, but it’s what we, the fans, did to him by caring so much about anything/everything besides his music.

I liked 'Battle Studies.' Even, 'Half of My Heart' holds a special place in my, well, heart. For Christmas that year, I actually received a paperweight engraved with the line, "I was born in the arms of imaginary friends." It's a beautiful song...even with Taylor Swift's appearance. Then there's 'Assassin' which evokes the imagery that I love so much with lines like, "Enter the morning light to find the day is burning the curtains and the wine" and...all of the first verse. It's freaking beautiful. For the first time in quite a few years, John Mayer has given his fans something a little more reachable than the blues he loves. This isn't the poppy sweetness of his first and second records; it's a bit rougher than that. It's electric, rock-tinged and a very reasonable step to assume his former fans would want to take with him. 'Who Says' was the first single and while it may not be my favorite song off the album*****, it is a close second. The song may feel unrealistic for people who can't afford private jets to Tokyo or who are far less likely to partake in pot, but the sentiment is the same for blue, white & no collar listeners alike, "Why Not?" It's about the desire to loosen your tie, kick off your heels and blow a bit of your savings on a weekend trip to New York. It's the reality that nothing that bad will happen if you do and the realization that you're not the only one in need of a serious escape. It's easily related to and deserves far more love than it received.

It's been a year and a half since 'Battle Studies' and I thoroughly miss John Mayer. He's been almost invisible lately-similar to how it used to be. From the record labels’ standpoint, that is a good thing. If he stops mouthing off in public, he can't alienate anyone else. The public can have time to forgive and forget his pale, grumbling days and remember the tanner, happier times. From a fan's perspective, though, I think it's a little sad. Why shouldn't he be able to be a jackass and still sell records? If his music is good (and I think it is), why should it matter what he wears, who he votes for, and who's sleeping in his bed? If we're going to make him famous and give him money to sing about his life, shouldn't we also afford him the same opportunity to discuss his life in a less melodic fashion? Our obsession with celebrities and our quickness to judge anyone has gotten out of hand. I miss John Mayer. I'm ready for new music, but I'd also be happy with some good old foot-in-mouth snarkiness, too. Just bring back my tattooed guitar god, please.

*No comments from the peanut gallery, please, about my number of "all-time favorite songs."
**Actual statistic. I think.
***At least it used to.
****Also, it made me want to have his baby.
*****First place goes to 'Perfectly Lonely.'