Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Audiodaughter gets Sappy

I spent my entire day today in the hospital watching nurses and doctors manhandle my mother. That sounds flippant and I suppose it is, but you should know that this is something my mother and I have been doing for several years now. It is never any less scary at first. But once the usual results are found, the frantic, anxious nausea is replaced with the sort of strangely calming worry that I’m used to by now. It’s a strange thing for an eight-year-old to be aware of her mother’s mortality. Kids are supposed to think their parents are super heroes. My mother is certainly my hero, but she’s far from invincible. I’ve grown up knowing that she probably wouldn’t live as long as most moms, dreading trying to figure out life without her and crying at sappy songs. You can see where I’m going with this, can’t you?

Here are five songs that will always make me cry, because tonight I need a good sniffle and I enjoy taking you down with me.

5) “Wind Beneath My Wings”- Bette Midler

All attachments aside, this song is just heartbreaking. The lyrics aren’t exactly sad. What makes the song so gut wrenching is the way Bette Midler sings it. The Divine Miss M may have a way with silly songs and sassy dance moves, but she can also belt out a broken heart better than anyone I know. “The Rose” was disturbing my emotions before I could even grasp what it was about. She can just sing with a voice so full of pain, it’s impossible not to feel it on even your brightest day.


4) “Mama, I’m Alright” –Miranda Lambert

Further proof that I’m basically just a hot mess. This song is about a girl who is moving away and leaving behind a fretting mother. It’s a promise that, she was raised strong and she’s going to be just fine. Yet I hear it and I sing it (oh, so badly), as a promise to my mother that when she goes, I will be okay…even if I’m not quite sure I believe it most days. Miranda Lambert sings this song in a 100% uplifting spirit. There is even a choir to back her up at the end! (It’s at the very point that the choir really kicks in that I usually skip to the next song. Choirs are not my thing.)

Here's the most decent version I could find on youtube, sadly it's one of those weird collage videos.


3) “High & Dry” –Radiohead

Let’s face it: Thom Yorke’s voice isn’t exactly uplifting. Its hard to find a Radiohead song that isn’t just a little bit a downer, even if it’s just the music, or his wailing. Radiohead isn’t party music, in my opinion. It’s the kind of music I listen to when I’m doing homework, watching a storm, or writing a particularly slow or mellow piece. But “High & Dry” has just always seemed a little more depressing than the rest of their catalog. Thom Yorke has supposedly referred to it as being Rod Stewart-esque and on the song’s Wiki page it is called the band’s “most accessible” song. I feel like a bit of a douche that this happens to be the song chosen for my first Radiohead reference. Still. It depresses me beyond belief.


2) “Joey/Nightswimming” –Sugarland

Sugarland is, in every way possible, the exact opposite of Radiohead. Until recently, even their deeper, more conscious songs have still had a poppy upbeat quality about them. On “Love on the Inside” Jennifer Nettles sings “Joey” in a voice as painful as that of the aforementioned Bette Midler. However, it went mostly unnoticed by me (and the rest of the world, it seems) until Sugarland released their Walmart exclusive, “Live on the Inside” album, which featured “Joey” paired up with several lines from R.E.M.’s single from 1993, “Nightswimming.” The additional one minute and 47 seconds turned a remorseful song into a seemingly vivid memory. As I’m sure it does for many people, this combo reminds me of a person and an event in my life that was quite different from the one described in this song and yet it still stirs up all those emotions. I’m positive that the pairing of those two songs might be one of the wisest things Sugarland has done thus far in their career.


1) “Both Sides Now” –Joni Mitchell

Oh, Joni. Much like Thom Yorke, her voice has always had a sorrowful sound to it. I don’t believe that another person’s voice could ever make this song sound more beautiful. This song is about that shift that everyone experiences at some point in their life. When something, or many things, once seen as beautiful are suddenly seen as something else: distractions, dependency, or just condensation. It’s the anti-Taylor Swift song, if you will. It’s the dispelling of true love, princesses and magical kingdoms for what they really are: Fairy tales. It’s growing up, getting a grip, and both cherishing the reality and missing the illusion. I daresay this is my absolute favorite song by Ms. Mitchell and I hope someday I can hear it live. And I will cry-No matter how many people are around me or how professional I’m supposed to be.



There you have it, sweet friends, my five song dive into depression. I'm certain that the next few days will be spent in the hospital with my mother, so I should have some time to give you a more cheery post soon.

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